Wednesday, May 25, 2005

On the road again

Hola all. Sorry for the delay, but it's been a busy week in the sports department of the ol' News-Sun.

Spent most of last week in Albuquerque covering two county baseball teams in the state tournament. My stories weren't very good,but at least I got a few free days in a pretty cool town. Plus, I made a couple hundred dollars at the hold 'em tables -- good times all the way around.

Now I get to take off tomorrow for Grand Junction, Colo., home of the JUCO World Series. Hobbs' Junior College -- New Mexico JC -- actually has one of the top baseball teams in the country and is one of the favorites to win this thing. The positives: I get to see some good baseball, it's another company-paid trip, and it could mean some good stories. The negative: I'm driving, and it's a 12-13 hour trek. So I'll be trying to wake up around 6, take off around 7 and get up to Grand Junction by 8 p.m. or so -- just enough time to grab a calzone and a beer at Old Chicago. I'll try to post from up there, but will probably forget. So there.

On a completely unrelated note, our AC is broken in the house. And the weather has been unbearably hot. Oh well, good time for me to leave town.

What me be watching: Letterman's monologue. So far he's referenced the Wendy's finger-gate, and his mom passing out in the backyard from too many margaritas. Giddy-up.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

Some loyal readers of A Strange Brew (read: those with German maternal nicknames) have taken to copy-editing my blogs and ridiculing me for some of the grammatical errors. I would apologize, but: 1) When I write these at 4 a.m. (in the morning?) I truly do not care about grammar; and 2) I'm not a nice enough person to apologize. Anyway, me talk pretty one day...

Good news today, as I will get to spend anywhere from 2-4 nights next week in Albuquerque for work, and a company-paid trip to the Duke City is always well-received by the Strange Brewmeister. Paid mileage, plus paid meals at real restaruants such as P.F. Chang's, plus nights playing hold 'em at the casinos = good time for me. Huzzah...

Boom goes the dynamite.

What me watch: Goodfellas. If I really have to explain why, we're no longer friends.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Just let your Soul Glo...

Well, it's only been a few days, and I'm back with another post. Damn, I had 10-1 odds on myself not writing again for at least another month :(...

It's actually been a somewhat exciting last few days at work. The Hobbs baseball team (one of my main beats) qualified last weekend for the state tournament, the first time since 2000 they were going to the playoffs. But late Tuesday night, they were informed that another team in their district (from Albuquerque) had protested a game, and the protest was upheld, meaning this team may get into state ahead of Hobbs. I learned of this about 8:30 p.m. Tuesday night, just as I got back from another baseball game. So, in two hours, I did four interviews for this Hobbs baseball thing, wrote a 18-inch gamer and a 22-inch newser. And they both turned out pretty well. Even better, we were the only paper in the state that had anything on the state baseball/appeal situation, which is great because Albuquerque has a number of reporters focused solely on preps, and they pride themselves in NEVER getting beat. A decent little feather in my cap, I think...

Hopefully this will be one of my final featers in my Hobbs cap (and yes, the definition of a Hobbs cap is a dirty trucker's hat). I'm receiving some interest from a paper I applied to in Hilton Head, SC, which I would definitely prefer to Hobbs. Coastal resort town, or depths of hell? You make the call. Anyway, I just finished a 23-page long copy test for Hilton Head (the paper is called the Island Packet -- I knew there had to be a downside to this whole deal), and now I'm sending them some more clips. Keep your fingers crossed for me...

Other than that, I spent a few hours tonight finding ringtones for my phone. The best I found, by far, is the Soul Glo song from Coming to America (if you haven't seen the movie, or don't know what Soul Glo is, then step asie, for you don't deserve to stand in the glorious light beaming from me). The runner-up to Soul Glo is the Sanford & Son theme. Always classy...

On the tube (Again, once I have time to think about it, I will come up with a decent, permanent name for this horrible, horrible feature): Simpsons season 2 DVD, currently the "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington" episode. All-time classic, with possibly my favorite line in the history of the series: "We the purple? What the hell was that?"

Just remember, none of this would exist without six white stripes, seven red stripes, and a hell of a lot of stars. Good night, everybody.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Hey. Amigo.

So, I guess I'm back again.

Why, exactly? Well, between reading a number of friends' blogs lately, getting bugged by some of said friends to start posting again, and my general boredom and malaise, I figured it was time to get back on here.

But first, a few promises.

1. Under no circumstances should you expect this to be funny every day. I generally use up all my comedic energy during the day mocking this town and the yokels that live here.

2. Expect me to steal lots of material from people. I shall try to give credit each time, but when I can't, I'll just pull an Albom and make it up.

3. As a space-filler, every post will end with what I have on TV while I write, along with a brief review. Be warned: Anytime I post between 1-2 a.m. (which will likely be often), this will often mean a review of Iron Chef. No, that's not a typo, I just truly am that special.

4. Finally, and most important, don't expect this every day. Hell, I'll be lucky to post more than 2-3 times a week. Not because I don't have the time, no no... simply because I'm lazy. So there.

Well, that is all. Now it's time for the first installment of...

What I'm watching (soon to have a catchier name): Iron Chef. I told you. For some reason, I love this show. I think it's the horrible voice acting and the over-the-top theatrics, but I'm not sure. Anyway, today's theme is "cod roe". One of the dishes is called "Cod & cod roe grilled in mayonaisse." In no possible way does that sound appealing. And, just to top it off, Food Network just showed an ad extolling the nutritional virtues of... Hot Pockets.

Damn Communists.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

So, it's Sunday night, just past 11 N.M. time, and I just found out that Wes Clark is coming into lowly Hobbs tomorrow to stump our good ol' Johnny Boy. May not sound like huge news, but trust me, for Hobbs, it is.

So, I'm wondering why, as someone who works at the only news source in this county, I hadn't heard about this until tonight. I figure it must have just been decided. Then, I look at today's paper again, and at the bottom of Page 5 (our jump page, no less), there was a two graf brief headlined "Four star general coming to Hobbs" - that's it. Two grafs, no quotes, no details, nothing. Our centerpiece story on the front page today? A gala held at the country club to benefit the Humane Society. Quite a "newspaper" I work for. From now on, the newsroom will be known as the "Sportsroom and Republican propaganda machine." God, I hate this town.

On the other hand, there were some good times in the H-O-B this week. I was covering a playoff volleyball match on Tuesday (I know, the excitement never stops), and it had to be delayed for about 15-20 minutes because there were three bats flying around in the gym and freaking the players out. Good times. There's few things I like seeing more than exciteable high school girls in spandex shorts running around in a hu-- um, scratch that. What I meant to say is, um, look! A puppy! Aw, how cute!

Today, meanwhile, was a domestic day for the only American Canuck in Lea County. Some housecleaning, some laundry, even some cooking. For some reason, I was in the mood for a decent meal, so I made a huged baked ziti. I must admit, it was actually really good, and there's enough leftovers to feed me for days. Good job, me.

We only had two trick-or-treaters swing by the house today, but I managed to sneak small John Kerry stickers in with the candy, and was never noticed by the evil Republican parents that were with them.

Also had the Fantasy NBA Draft this week. First three picks were Shaq, AI and Amare - I like them all. The rest of my team? Not so much.

That's it for tonight, kiddies. Back to my drinking and watching of Arrested Development. Hasta manana.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Sorry again for the delay, my peeps. As you may recall, in my last post I talked about how I thought I was coming down with something. Well, I came down with something, and over the last few days did essentially nothing other than work and sleep.

Great start to the World Series. You all know my great affection for Yankees fans, which, as it turns out, is rivaled only by my great affection for St. Louis sports fans. So, if the Sox can just take two more games, suddenly, they will have knocked out my two least favorite franchises while also ending 86 years of futility. Huzzah, Boston. Huzzah.

It's a damn good thing the Sox are winning too, because, to be blunt, every team that I love is really pissing me off right now.
Mariners - Miserable.
Missouri football - Can't win any close game, and are just always good enough to lose.
Missouri basketball - Baylor will be better this year. Just wait and see.
Seahawks - Three straight losses and, worst of all, just lost to Arizona. Read that last part again. Now, pity me.
Sonics - I'll defer to ESPN.com on this one: "There are only two teams in the West with absolutely no shot at the playoffs, and this is No. 1 on the list." Repeat after me - We're No. 1!! We're No. 1!!

The only thing I can hang my hat on is that the Seatte Storm just won the WNBA Championship. In a related, and equally important, story, I need to throw up.

All this, not to mention we're one week away from W being elected. It'll probably be nice for him to finally know the feeling of actually being elected president.

At least I just got a copy of NCAA Football 2005, I'm buying the first season of Arrested Development tomorrow and the third season of West Wing comes out next Tuesday. Sweet, sweet technology, only you can help me forget what an idiotic place this can be. Damn, I shouldn't have said that. Now I'm emboldening the enemy.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Plus: Went to Lubbock on Monday to hang out with E-Van. Had great Mexican food, watched some baseball, and went to the new Hooters in Lubbock to finish watching baseball and Monday Night Football. Good times. Much better than staying in Hobbs during an off day.

Minus: I think I'm coming down with something. I started to get exhausted last night, then hot and cold, and now my eyes are really dry and my throat is sore. Oh well. Easy day at work today, hopefully that'll help.

Speaking of baseball, Curt Schilling's performance last night was amazing. Blood seeping out of his sock, an ankle tendon snapped, and he still manages to throw seven innings of four-hit ball. Incredible. Not to mention, there are few things better than seeing the Yankees and Yankees fans suffer. Cheering for the Yankees is like rooting for a hurricane.

Or, even better, let me steal a line from Stephanie and use it for the Yanks: Rooting for the Yankees is like running in the Special Olympics. You may win, but you're still a retard.

Yes, I know, I am a horrible, horrible person. But that's what gets me through the day.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Lots to talk about today, kids, so buckle up and shut up...

Went and saw "Friday Night Lights" today. Fantastic. Started out a little slow, but it should become the defining football movie of this generation, if not the defining sports movie. The final game, which lasts probably 15-20 minutes, is one giant goose-bump scene, and the post-game scene is an absolute tear-jerker. Good ol' Billy Bob was great. The best performance, though, might have been Tim McGraw as the drunk, football-obsessed dad living through his son. I was stunned with how good he was.

Speaking of football, I hate the Seahawks. And I hate Missouri. In the words of my friend Coz, every team I love is just good enough to lose. Seahawks had tons of chances today to beat the unbeatable Pats, and couldn't pull it off. They should be a legitimate Super Bowl contender, and now, I wouldn't be surprised if they missed the playoffs completely. Sigh...

I meant to talk about this earlier and forgot, but if you have not seen this past week's episode of "Crossfire" that had Jon Stewart on, do so immediately. Stewart went on and completely tore apart Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala. He talked about how the show was killing America and about how both guys were just "partisan hacks". Tucker told Stewart how much funnier he was on The Daily Show, to which Jon replied: "That's funny, because you're just as big a dick on your show as you always are." Possibly the first time "dick" has ever been said on CNN. Later, when Tucker said he figured Stewart was going to be funny on the show, Jon just said, "No. I'm not your monkey." It was all amazingly surreal. Stewart absolutely dominated the show in what may be the most important Crossfire show ever. I was going to post the links for the video and the transcript, but I"m much too lazy. Instead, just search for Jon Stewart and Crossfire, and find it your own damn self.

Made a very productive trip to Hastings today. Got a great baseball book (Rob Neyer's Big Book of Lineups), as well as the "Lost in Translation" and "Last Samurai" DVD's, all for 11 bucks. Good times indeed.

Tomorrow should bring more good times, as I head to the Hub City (yes, that's actually Lubbock's nickname) to hang out with KLBK's own E-Van Onstot and go watch Team America: World Police.

Until then, Viva la Revolucion.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

My favorite writer in America today is ESPN.com Page 2 columnist Bill Simmons. If you've never read him, start doing so immediately. Anyways, he has a number of sayings he likes to use, one of which will become the theme for today's entry.

"The lesson, as always: I'm an idiot."

A number of reasons to say this. First off, I did write a post yesterday morning, one that I thought was actually pretty good. Then, of course, I hit "Save as Draft" instead of "Publish Post", so it was never posted. I didn't realize this until this morning and, unfortunately, most of the material was time-sensitive. So it's now been erased.

The lesson, as always: I'm an idiot.

One thing I did mention in the post was how busy I'd been at work. Our sports editor had been on vacation the first few days this week, leaving two of us on the sports desk (and me doing the work of two people). In three days, I'd probably worked 35-40 hours. But he came back to work yesterday, so I figured things would be slightly calmer, and I said so in the "lost post," as it shall now be called.

So, of course, my editor and I return from a football game we'd been covering, only to find out our entire server is down and has been for a couple hours. So, rather than being a calm, easy night, we spend the night scrambling, trying to fix things, trying to get our stuff done, and we don't get out of the office until about 2:30 in the morning.

The lesson, as always, I'm an idiot.

Hopefully today will be better, as I've already gotten a promise that I can leave work early. Yee-haw.

Anyways, I'll end this post the same way I did the lost post. Fuck the Yankees. Fuck the Cards. That is all.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Back again - I swear

I know that I have before claimed to be back on the blogging bandwagon. But, this time, I swear that I will be back - I have even gone as far as to make my blog my new homepage, so I will be forced to see it. So there.

Just finished watching the final presidential debate. I thought Bush took the first part, but Kerry hammered W in the final hour or so. Another win for the saggy basset-hound junior senator from Massachusetts, although, as a pessimist by nature, I still think Georgie Boy has the election all but wrapped up.

Speaking of our ADD-inflicted president, he actually came to Hobbs on Monday. Why, you may ask, would Bush come to a town of 30,000 people (in a county of 50,000), when he will already carry this county by with at least 75-80 percent? I have no idea. Anyways, roughly 17,000 people showed up at the rally, including myself and my roommate Jeremy, who are perhaps the two most liberal people in Lea County. I normally would have no desire to see monkey-boy talk, but it's a rare opportunity to see a sitting president speak during a campaign, so I went and spetn the entire time drinking coffee and biting my tounge. I was thrillled to hear him say "nucular" in person - I only wish he would have said "They hate us for our freedom." (That is, without a doubt, my favorite phrase in Republican-ish, as well as the one that most makes me want to stab my eyeballs.)

On the plus side, Jenna came with her pops. Mmmmmmmm... Bush girls.

Other than W's visit, not too much is new here. I haven't heard back from any of the jobs I applied for, but I'm still applying for more. There are openings in Santa Fe, NM and Odessa, Tex, which I think I could have a legit shot at. Odessa is just 1 1/2 hours from here, and although I consider myself a fairly modest person, I know I'm better than any of the writers they have there. So, I think that if I really want that job, I can have it. The other interesting possibility is in Myrtle Beach, SC, on the Coastal Carolina University beat. I think I still may be a little underqualified for the job, but I also feel I have some good clips, so who knows, maybe I'll get lucky. Again, wish me luck.

That's all for now, folks. Tomorrow will be a long day at work, but I'll try to post again with topics including: Red Sox-Yankees, Astros-Cards, and others that only the most vivid of imaginations could come up with. So there's your challenge for the day. Think of something I can write about, or I will hunt you down and knife you.

Finally, I've had a few people ask for the website for my paper so they can read some of my work. Well, it's hobbsnews.com, but in order to read anything on it, you have to pay 6 bucks a month. And, since I know I wouldn't do that for any of you, I don't expect it in return. But, for any of you reading this, let me know if you'd be interested in having me post any of my stories or columns. Peace, yo. Word. Biatch.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Must be a King... why?

Because he hasn't got shit all over him.

I hope you all got that reference, since that's all I'll be writing about right now. I just got done watching Jeopardy for the night. In case you've been in a cave or are incredibly stupid, odds are you know about Ken Jennings, the "Jeopardy Guy" who has won for 40+ days.

This man is my idol. I've always been a game show nut, and love quiz shows, particularly Jeopardy. Needless to say, a man who has been on Jeopardy for nearly 50 days has become a hero of mine. So, thanks to my roomie actually having enough money to buy new technology, I Tivo Jeopardy every day to watch the JG. I actually wrote a column about him, which I thought was pretty good. If you actually care enough to read it, e-mail me and I'll send you a copy.

Anyways, tonight on Jeopardy, the Double Jeopardy round was all about Monty Python (another personal fave of mine). Categories included Monty Python, Bring out your dead, Spam and Knights that say "Ni". If you don't know any of these, I pity you.

Well, that's it from tonight. That's right, I spent an entire day's post talking about Jeopardy and Monty Python. You wish you could be me.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Here we go again

I know I said that I would be updating this more often. But, seeing as how I don't really like any of you, I felt no need to live up to that. Of course, I'm kidding. I like everyone that reads this, except for you (yeah, that's right. You suck!).

Actually, I'd been busy at work and was having more computer problems, but I think they're all finally fixed now. And, since I was admonished by her frau-iness earlier today for not writing in this more often, I figured it would be better to actually do it and not feel more of that wrath.

Anyways, not too much is new on the Hobbsfront. I had another thrilling day off today, which consisted of some cleaning and a purchase of the 10th anniversary edition of Clerks. I also played some poker and some cribbage online (at this point, I can't imagine why any of you would still possibly be reading this).

I guess the biggest excitement coming up is that I'm applying for two jobs, one in Yakima, WA and one in Vancouver, WA. Both are sports jobs, both would have me on the desk for 2-3 nights a week and writing for the other 2-3 nights. The best part is they're both bigger papers, in better cities, near Seattle and near some good friends. So, wish me luck.

That's it from here. This time, I promise to keep updating, if I decide you're worth it.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

I'm back...

Well, sorry for the delay, peeps. My laptop started crapping out on me almost two months ago, and, seeing that I still am me, I was much too lazy and cheap to get it fixed. Today, though, I actually spent some time and fixed it (kinda) myself. Yay for me.
So, what have I been up to lately, you may ask? Well, frankly, it's none of your damn business. But, since I have nothing better to do, I'll tell you.
Work is finally starting to pick back up. This was the opening weekend for high school football in our area, which obviously is a big weekend for a small-town sportswriter. In preparation for the beginning of the fall sports season, I've been working roughly 55 hour weeks the past three weeks, which, strangely enough, I loved. Other than that, I've been looking for some job opportunities and figure I'll finish getting my resume together and will start sending out some applications this week. Wish me luck.
Anyways, that's all that's going on right now, so I'll cut this off. But, be prepared, folks, for the Crowblog is back and better than ever. That is to say, it's still not very good, but I won't be spilling beer onto my computer as I write it. Good times!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Well, today was truly a glorious Tuesday in Hobbs, America (yes, they don't call it Hobbs, New Mexico, or even Hobbs, Texas, but instead Hobbs, America... I guess neither state wanted to claim it).

Why was it so glorious? Well, I'm glad you asked. Except for you with your back turned, you don't deserve to know. Anyways, the reasons today was so glorious are twofold. First, today was my last day of work for a week, as I have tomorrow off and on Thursday, I will be flying back to Seattle to spend my entire vacation for the year. Can't wait to see all my old buddies again, and be back in a place where 80 degrees is considered scorching. And good bars and clubs - really can't wait to see those.

Second, a new Dave Matthews Band CD/DVD set came out today, which is always reason to celebrate. But, even better, this is a live set from the Gorge in George, Washington (I shit you not), which is quite possibly the most gorgeous place in the world to watch a concert. Strangely enough, I went to see DMB three of the last four years at the Gorge, and which year did they decide to record this set? You guessed it. But the DVD is sweet. Great concert footage, plus a couple of behind-the-scenes featurettes on the Gorge. For those who have never been or never seen it, the Gorge is directly on the Columbia River, and provides an absolutely gorgeous setting for a concert. Plus, it has the craziest campground I've ever seen, which always adds up to good times.

Adding to the good day, I see that the alcohol Elfrink decided to link me to was Boone's Farm. Ahhh yes, good ol' Boone's. Tasty, cheap, made me throw up more than once, and always made me laugh when Steph put stickers on them. Huzzah, Elfrink. Huzzah.

What can I say? Good times all around in Hobbs today, with prospects for tomorrow looking good also. Cheap golf, cheap booze and an early bedtime before driving off to Lubbock for my Thursday flight.

Until later, just remember... everything's coming up Milhouse.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

I'm scared. Truly scared.

Well, my seemingly innocent sportswriting career took a sudden turn toward redneck today.

Since it's summer in a school sport dominated town, there is obviously very little to actually cover for the three of us sports writers, which forces us to do some obscure stories. Which is why, when I got a phone call telling me that the local 4-H shooters were going to Nationals, I decided it could make an interesting feature.

So, I go to their shooting practice today at a skeet shooting range which was built at a family's farm (can you see this getting all redneck-y yet?). It turns out these four kids, ages 14-18, will be competing at Nationals in shotgun shooting - always a fan favorite. So, I watch them shoot for a while, talk to the kids, the coach and a couple of parents, and I figure I'm good to go, no worse for the wear - except for getting this exact quote from the coach: "These kids done good." Yee-haw. Then, to top it off, I find out where the Nationals are being held - Columbia, Mo. The high-class redneck capital of America, and home of another bizarre chapter in my life.

But, before I can leave, I bear witness to these kids giving their coach a gift. Seems sweet enough. But when the coach opens the box, the gift is one of the largest, gaudiest belt buckles you could ever imagine. To top it off, it had the coach's name and a couple of shotguns on it. Again, good times by all, except for me, since I'm in physical pain from biting my lip so hard.

One more time, I try to leave. One more time, I'm unsuccessful. As I'm leaving, the coach asks me to stay and shoot a round of skeet with the kids.

For those of you that know me, I want you to picture me and how awkward I could possibly look with a shotgun. Now go read that last paragraph again.

To avoid being rude, I decide I'll embarrass myself in front of the 10 people there and do some shooting. To top off the Redneck feel, they give me a pair of safety goggles which - I shit you not - have a giant NASCAR logo on them. I was just a mullet away from wishing I had a sister so I could sleep with her.

The saddest thing, though? I actually had a good time with the shooting. I actually think I may go back and try shooting with them again and getting better.

The moral of this story? Hobbs is turning me into a redneck. Just another reason to hate this town.

That's it for tonight. Time to go to bed while watching Holy Grail with the Idle, Palin and Cleese commentary. Hopefully these Brits will knock my redneck teeth straight again.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Mildly depressing

So, a word about Hobbs. I get off work every night between 11 and midnight, and am usually hungry. The options for late-night dining here are damn slim - there's Wendy's drive thru until 1 am, and Taco Bell drive thru until 2 am.

Or, for those of us who feel really depressing, there's North 40. To get a picture of North 40, imagine a local, really sleazy IHOP. It's a popular hangout after bars close, and somehow, every time I'm there at 2 a.m. on a Thursday morning, there's always some 10-year old kid working there. Classy.

Anyways, my favorite part of North 40 is one of its menu items, the Hobbs Club. I don't know exactly what the ingredients are in a Hobbs Club, because me and my friends have come up with our own description of the sandwich. The Hobbs Club - made with the shattered dreams of thousands. And how does it taste? Mildly depressing.

Well, I've promised to talk about the nightlife sometime, and tonight, I will deliver. There is one bar worth half a shit in this town - Holidaze. It's somewhat classy, and the owners love me and my friends, and he's constantly giving us free and discounted drinks, which always helps.

When Holidaze closes, there's only one other bar to visit, Diamond Lil's. For those who have never been to Hobbs, I envy you greatly. But, if you ever do come to this hole of a town, I highly recommend Lil's to get the full Hobbs experience. It is, without a doubt, the biggest redneck bar I've ever been to. Bad beer, two pool tables, one dart board, lots of ugly, toothless, cheap women, and some of the shittiest country bands mankind has ever seen. Needless to say, I'm there at least once a week, and it's a shitkicking good time.

If you have any more questions about the Hobbs nightlife, I welcome you to visit your local library. Or, more importantly, find something better to do with your time.

On a completely unrelated note, I hope you all have been watching the U.S. Open. Mickelson, Els, Maruyama, Goosen, Pavin, Sergio - this has the makings of one of the best final rounds ever.

Until next time, just remember... I call the big one bitey.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

All the news...

What the headlines should have been in today's Hobbs News-Sun: "Kobe gets taste of own medicine" and "Pistons treat Bryant like 19-year-old hotel worker"

I'd like to say I'm sorry for making all three of you out there wait so long for the newest post, but really, I was just seeing how long you would hold your breath. After all, if you can't kill people via suffocation through a blog, well, you're just not trying.

As for my week, well, I did nothing. I worked, I drank, I watched a lot of West Wing, and I went golfing once. Glad I could catch you back up to speed. Anyways, as promised, you will now learn about my job. I believe I will save the nightlife for tomorrow, however, as you will deserve to read at least one post that is very short.

For those of you that don't know, I am a sportswriter at the Hobbs-News Sun. We have a circulation of about 12,000, and publish every day but Monday. We cover all of Lea County, New Mexico, which has a population of roughly 45,000. And, when I say "we", I am solely talking about the sports department, because our news writers are the sorriest, laziest people I have ever met. None of our news writers work past 5 p.m., and only one writer works Saturdays. Ah yes, the Hobbs News-Sun - all the news that's fit to print, Monday-Friday, 9-5.

As for the sports desk, we have three people: Myself, another writer and our sports editor. I'm convinced we are, by far, the three coolest people in town. We cover five high schools, one NAIA college and one junior college. My responsibilities involve covering every sport at the two smallest high schools (Eunice and Jal), a number of peripheral sports at Hobbs H.S. (such as girls' basketball, tennis, golf, swimming, etc.), and some sports at the two colleges. All in all, not awful. Not great, but not awful.

It's amazing how much people care about high school sports in this county. Hobbs' football stadium can hold roughly 15,000 people, while the basketball arena was just named one of the top 10 H.S. arenas in the country by USA Today. It's frighteningly like Hoosiers in Hobbs. People live and die over the basketball team here, with there being a huge waiting list for season tickets. That's right, there's a huge waiting list for prep basketball season tickets. People actually pass down season tickets in their wills. Sadly enough, the coach is not nearly as cool as Gene Hackman...

Well, that's all for today. There's plenty more I could write about the job, but I just don't feel like it. And, honestly, I don't think you deserve it. You know what you did. Now go cower in shame.

Monday, June 07, 2004

I think it's about time I let all you wonderful people out there in internet-land know a little bit about where I live. If you get bored reading this, I have no pity for you.

Hobbs, New Mexico. That's where I live. For those of you who haven't heard of it, I'm very proud of you. For those of you who haven't heard of New Mexico, I can't say I completely blame you. But that's neither here nor there.

Hobbs is a town of just less than 30,000 people in southeastern New Mexico, and is the largest city in Lea County. Yee-haw. Surrounding Hobbs is, well, nothing. The closest places of any worth (read: more than Hobbs) within the state are Carlsbad, which is an hour away, and Roswell, which is two hours away. Other than that, it's about an hour and a half from Midland, Odessa and Lubbock (Lubbock is truly the only city worth going to out of any that I've just mentioned).

In town, there's even less. Unless you really, really, really love God. Then, you can have your choice of one of the 130+ churces in this town. And if you don't really, really love God, then on Sunday, you're fucked.

As for the rest of town, there's one high school, one junior college, and one four year college that's religious (I know, I'm shocked too). There's also a mall - it has 7 stores in it, yet they call it a mall. Once again, Yee-haw.

I guess the best part of Hobbs is that we're only 5 miles from the Texas border. Which means that even though I may not like where I live, all I have to do is take a three-minute drive, and I get to witness pure hell.

That's all for now, folks. Coming up tomorrow in the Lord of Lea trilogy: Job/nightlife. Start holding your breath... NOW!
(Keep holding)
(Keep holding)
(Hold it... hold it... yeah, that's all.)

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Yes, sir.

Starch
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated,
hard-willed and not too friendly about it. You
keep people out of places, or you keep them in,
and without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

One more tony quiz still to come, I believe

Sad to say, nothing happened today to nearly match the excitement of last night's theatrics. Instead, just a relatively boring day in good ol' Hobbs, consisting of watching a few West Wing episodes before going to work.

President Reagan died today, which sucks. I never liked his politics, but it's undeniable that he cared a great deal about our country, and it always sucks when people become as sick as he was the last couple years. Still, I couldn't resist trying to get our editor to run the headline "Reagan falls asleep again - this time for good." Tacky, yes. But not nearly as tacky as what Jeremy (who you may remember from last night's post) said.

Now, Jeremy, one of my two roommates, is one of two other people I work with on the sports desk at the Hobbs News-Sun. But what he truly loves is politics. And, I think he may be even more liberal than I am, which is saying quite a bit. So, when we saw the news that Reagan died, Jeremy's first words were, "It could've happened a lot sooner if Hinkley had taken any shooting lessons." Bravo, Jeremy. Bravo.

That's it from the big H-O tonight. Enjoy the veal.

Quite a night

Tonight was, without a doubt, the most interesting night I've had since moving into this "city" I reluctantly call home. And, just so you know, this will be a very long post, but it will be worth it.

Before I begin the story, let me give a little background info: Brian Urlacher, one of the best linebackers alive, is originally from Lovington, a town 15-20 miles north of here - and a town that we spend a lot of time covering. Last week, Urlacher and three other NFL All-Pros (Jason Taylor, Jerry Azumah & Zach Thomas) came to Lovington to host a "charity" basketball game (the charity was to refloor Lovington H.S.' Urlacher Training Center. Yes, that's right, reflooring a center named for you is now charity). Urlacher would not talk to our newspaper, the main paper that covers his town, either before or after his game. So, our sports reporter that covers Lovington, and one of my roommates, Jeremy Duda, writes a column talking about how Urlacher should be more willing to talk to the local paper and let his fans/worshippers know what he's thinking.

So, flash forward to tonight. Me, Jeremy and our sports editor, Jason Watkins, are at the only decent bar in town after work, when Urlacher's flunkie of an agent (not his real agent, but his 'New Mexico representative' who happens to also be a Lovington native) and some other Urlacher friends come into the bar. After a couple minutes, Urlacher's flunkie comes over to Jeremy to bitch about the column. Possible end of story. But when we're leaving the bar, the flunkie continues to talk shit to Jeremy, and a couple of Urlacher's other friends chime in. So the shit-talking carries on for a minute or two before we leave.

Jason and I then were going to come back to my house, but Jeremy and our friend John decided to go to another bar. About 5 minutes later, I get a phone call from Jeremy saying that Urlacher's flunkie and friends have shown up at the other bar. So, needless to say, Jason and I head to the bar to back up our friend. At the bar, Urlacher's flunkie starts a conversation with Jason, one that gets heated a number of times. We're all ready for a possible brawl with a number of Urlacher's friends, but, luckily, it never quite comes to that.

Instead, Urlacher's "posse" just agrees to be pissed at us. Still, somehow, Jeremy almost finds a way to get laid that night after the whole situation passes. Then, on the way out of the bar, Jason and I get stuck behind a car in the parking lot. A group of people come up to this car, and one woman starts swinging wildly at the driver. Apparently, from what we heard, the driver of the car had slept with the puncher's husband. So, just to add a little more redneck stupidity to this story, the driver pulls out into the street, the swinger hangs on to the car, and the driver does 3-4 doughnuts in the middle of the street, trying to run over the angry wife.

The night just recently ended, with John, Jason, Jeremy and myself all at the house, drinking, watching Chapelle's Show and talking about the unbelievable night.

God Bless Hobbs.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

So I just got done finishing two different quizzes, courtesy of Tim Leong's blog. On the first one, What West Wing character are you?, I found out I'm Toby Ziegler, White House communications director. That's not too bad, I can see myself as more of the serious, cynical person. I must admit, I was hoping to be Josh Lyman, but I've got no real complaints.

As for the other quiz, What Sports Night character are you?, I was a little surprised to find out that I'm apparently Dana. It's not so much the woman part that bothers me, as much as the fact that Dana is a paranoid freak much of the time. I figured I would be Dan, and if I was going to be a woman, I thought it would be Natalie. But the Sports Night quiz did have my favorite question out of the two quizzes: "Are you hip?" If you've ever watched Sports Night, you know the sheer genius of that question.

As you can tell, this was an extremely productive day off for me. Starting a blog, putting in two entries, going to the bar for dinner, going to Wal-Mart, and that's about it. Living in a town of 30,000 in a desolate area of the country really sucks on a day off. Oh, well, I'm sure there's more excitement to come in Hobbs tomorrow...

A new dimension in blogging...

Well, here goes. I've only been back online for 2-3 days, and I'm already getting bugged by people to start a blog. And, as everyone knows, there are few things I enjoy more than giving in to random peer pressure, so hooray for me and my new blog.
But where to begin? I could talk about where I live (Hobbs, New Mexico, where the stronger the smell of oil in the air, the stronger the economy), my job (Where I have, impressively, met the biggest liar EVER. Yes, that's right, EVER), or my roommates (including an air traffic controller in an airport that sees rougly 3 planes per week). But then, I wouldn't have anything to write about in the upcoming days.
So, instead, let me rant about some news from back home. Seahawks Stadium, home of my beloved Seattle Seahawks (if you got that one right, I'll give you a cookie next time I see you) has changed it's name. It shall now be referred to as Qwest Field.
Let's see. Seahawks Stadium... Qwest Field... yeah, those have similar integrity.
There are few things I absolutely despise, but these corporate battles over naming stadiums is one thing I can honestly say I despise. Do these companies actually think putting their name on a stadium will help sales?
Just think of this conversation:
Guy No. 1 - "Hey, I'm heading to the store. We need some orange juice."
Guy No. 2 - "What kind are you getting?"
G1 - "Well, seeing as how I'm an Astros fan, and we play at Minute Maid Park, I must buy Minute Maid."
G2 - "But, wait, I like the Devil Rays, and they play at Tropicana Field, so we have to get Tropicana."
A brawl ensues, until Mariners legend turned Tampa Bay manager Lou Piniella busts in, kicks both men around, screams 'F-ing orange juice?!?!?', spits on them and walks out.
The above conversation was, of course, fictional. Nobody's a Devil Rays fan. But the moral is loud and clear: Pay attention to stupid stadium names, and a bitter old man will beat the shit out of you.
Well, that's it for me. I'm off to get rich and try to name a stadium Vagisil Park.